Friday, July 13, 2007

Today, Everything Changed


That's right.

No need to adjust your screen.



Some thought it was impossible. But it's been done. The most prestigious sporting record in all of recorded human history has fallen. Hard.

The Speed NAFTA record of 24 was absolutely crushed today. It is a day that will live in infamy and forever be associated with the upper-most reaches of the possibilities of human achievement.

Friday, July 13, 2007.

The new Speed NAFTA record is 26.

"Everything happened so quickly," said Bob Nerple, NAFTA spokesman. "Two figures appeared out of nowhere with two Nerf-style footballs of different sizes in hand. After a brief stretching routine, which could only be described as 'majestic' they began the most amazing display of athletic prowess I have ever witnessed."

"Their arms were a blur. No one knew where one Nerf-style football ended and the other began. It was as if time stood still - and yet moved faster than I ever thought possible."

The team disappeared as quickly as they came. But just before departing, they chanted the NAFTA creed:

"Some see the Speed NAFTA record as it is and ask, 'why?' Others dream of Speed NAFTA records that never were and ask, 'why not?' But true NAFTAphiles don't ask questions. They play NAFTA."

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

New Team Threatens NAFTA Establishment

In a startling development, a brand new team of NAFTA renegades has burst onto the International NAFTA scene. The brash, young rebels came out of nowhere today to record an almost impossible to believe score of 296 in Endurance NAFTA.

The Speed NAFTA record, which everyone knows is much more prestigious and difficult to achieve, remains in tact at 23.

Official NAFTA record keepers are still in the process of certifying the staggering score but from initial indications, 296 seems to be the new mark to beat.

NAFTAphiles, get ready. Breaking the Endurance NAFTA record just got a whole lot more time-consuming, tedious and repetitive.

No one knows much about the new record holders. But we do know this. They are cloaked in a cloud of vague mystery and shrouded in a hazy paradoxical cloud of riddles. Where do they come from? Where are they going? What are their deepest fears, insecurities and regrets? No one knows.

Perhaps we will never know.

Perhaps that is a good thing and we should be thankful.

But now, more than ever, in this confusing time of NAFTA chaos, disorder and upheaval, we must always remember the NAFTA creed:

"Be alert. The river of NAFTA is deep, winding, infested with crocodiles and piranha, dusted with a thin surface layer of pollution and around every turn are violent rapids and steep, rocky cliffs. Tread carefully. And always bring a buddy."

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

NAFTA Is Very Serious

What started as a fun, friendly game has quickly become a serious competition on the level of Scrabble Tournaments or Crab Races. NAFTAphiles from all over the world have been dropping everything to play NAFTA day and night in an effort to break the Endurance NAFTA record of 172.

So far, no one has accomplished the incredible feat and NAFTA experts do not expect the score to be topped any time soon.

"NAFTA is very difficult and very serious," said Bob Nerple, head of NAFTA-IS-FUN (The Nerf Action Football Throwing Activity Institute of Seriously Fanatic Unified NAFTAphiles). "It seems like 172 is an achievable number. But until you've been in that situation and dealt with the tremendous pressure involved, you have no idea what it takes. Plus, your arm starts to get really, really sore and it even kinda hurts a little. Oh, and the boredom. The boredom has claimed many a victim."

The 2nd-highest reported score was 135, which was achieved by a small tribe of NAFTA enthusiasts who seem to live by some sort of harbor and enjoy strapping patches of grass to their bodies, for unknown reasons.

What is known is that they take NAFTA very seriously and are not to be trifled with.

We also know that this hallowed record will be broken one day. The questions is:


and Where?

and, most importantly, Why?

Monday, June 11, 2007

Quantum Physics Disproven!!!

The NAFTA blog has received incontrovertible evidence that the most important law in Quantum Physics is actually false - thereby disproving Quantum Physics in its entirety.

Quantum Scientists previously thought it was impossible to achieve an Endurance NAFTA score of higher than 99.

But today, it was discovered a record of 172 has been achieved by two Chinese girls tossing nerf-style dolls and stuffed animals (of different sizes) back and forth.

Therefore Quantum Physics is all a big lie.

Lest you be taken in by the arrogant falsehoods of the scientific establishment, always remember the NAFTA creed:

"Somewhere out there, there are two Chinese girls who are better than you at everything."

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

New Record!

A momentous day! Today is the day after the day that the new record was set in the prestigous event of Speed NAFTA.

Here at the NAFTA blog, we have been provided indisputable video evidence of two unknown NAFTA masters acheiving an unprecedented score of "21" in a 20 second round of Speed NAFTA.

Yes, you read that correctly.


I know.


That's more than 1 a second.

Seriously impressive.

The previous record was held by "Boy Wrestler" - who's suddenly pathetic score of 18 is now just a sad note in NAFTA history - a reminder of the humble beginnings from which this now proud sport once emerged.

That reminds me of the NAFTA creed:

"Remember where you came from. There's probably a game of NAFTA going on there and you don't want to miss it!"

Monday, June 4, 2007

A NAFTA football with an egg in it??? Whaaa???

Good morning NAFTAphiles. It's Monday and you know what that means...

We get to play NAFTA!

Just like every other day.

'Aint life great?

I found this great photo on the Internet of a nerf football with an egg inside it! Seems it was some crazy science experiment. Only in America!

Could you play NAFTA using footballs with eggs inside of them? Of course you could. In fact, that's the NAFTA creed:

"Without creativity, NAFTA is just throwing a football back and forth over and over again."

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Get the right kind of ball!

You wouldn't play baseball without a bat, tennis without a racket, golf without a club? Of course not! That's crazy talk!!

If you're going to play NAFTA, you have to have the right equipment, right?


So if you find yourself with a ball that looks like the sad monstrosity in the picture, you, my friend are in deep, deep trouble.

Go to the store, buy two new balls (of different sizes), get yourself a friend and get in the game!!!

And always remember the NAFTA Creed:

"NAFTA is Life and Life is Good."